Pearl is Punished

As the timeless idiom goes, cast Pearl before swine and he'll fit right in! I can't fully describe the complete happiness and satisfaction I receive from Bruce Pearl being suspended from his first eight games. Not only do I despise his ridiculous orange sport coat, but the irony and corruption is almost too much to handle.

Before delving into the reason behind the suspension, let us take a jaunt down a Pearl-laden memory lane...

Twenty years ago, Bruce Pearl was an assistant at Iowa during a battle with Illinois for the star recruit Deon Thomas. Thomas committed to Illinois. Pearl, whistle in hand, got Thomas to admit to receiving a car from the Illini and turned in the tape recording into the NCAA. Although they could not back up his claim, they found other violations by further investigation which resulted in a one-year postseason ban. From that moment onward, Pearl carried around the label of a whistle-blowing rat like it was inked across his wide forehead in red. His fellow coaches shunned him with an impenetrable silence. Pearl kept telling himself and others that he did the right thing. It took three years for the tainted coach to get a job-back to Division II-at Southern Indiana. Nine years and a stellar winning record later, he was finally let back into Division I at a mid-major program: Wisconsin-Milwaukee. Three seasons later he was hired at Tennessee.

Now after such a history and a tough row to hoe, you would think that he would be the epitome of a corruption-free coach. Well, well, well...not so fast, Pearl. It turns out that Bruce has some dirt on his hands, too. He has it on his hands, his program, and his recruits. Quite frankly, when you move the orange rug you can see that he's been tracking in dirt all over Rocky Top Tennessee. The violations include excessive phone calls to recruits and use of unauthorized phones. More than the violations is the evident misinformation Pearl provided to the NCAA. Bold move from a one-eyed fat man. Covering your tracks is almost worse than performing the wrong deed! Pearl said, "It's serious what we did, it's worse how we handled it." You can say that again.

It's funny how a once goody-two-shoes is now the bad apple.

The punishment makes the matter curiouser and curiouser. He'll miss the first half of the SEC season, and will return for his Jan. 22nd game against UConn. Then he will continue his suspension and make it back to the court in time for the game against Kentucky and rival Calipari. Interesting indeed. I guess sports are more similar to politics than I thought. At least he is exposed and receiving some punishment. I can't wait to see the signs UK fans make on that Feb. 8th game.

What did I do?!